Anyone who knows me knows that I spend 1/2 my life pulling my hair out because my son pushes me to the brink of insanity. The child climbs everything (Last night he climbed my chair in the living room and jumped THROUGH the table next to it and did it all before I knew he wasn’t on the floor anymore!) and is in every room, in everything he is not supposed to be, all at the same time. There are days I feel like I should just lay down and die before he can kill me because I am sure that death is imminent and I WILL have control of the last seconds of my life since I can clearly not control anything else. You know that scene in “Mr. Mom” where Michael Keaton’s washing machine goes crazy, his son sets off the smoke detector while making lunch, the baby is zooming around in the walker & eating canned chili and the vacuum cleaner takes on a life of it’s own? I HAVE LIVED THAT!! I know first hand just how badly MK wants to cry, scream and crap his pants while running down the street, never looking back. I am not saying this is an everyday thing, but…
Having said that, I have to ask just what the hell is wrong with me! I decided that I would take on a second little boy, 40 hours a week. This kiddo is the same age as my son and behaves just like him! Somehow, I have deluded myself into believing that this is a good thing for my kid; that somehow it is going to calm him down and distract him from his usual insanity. In the back of my head, however, there is a tiny voice that I am trying my best to ignore and it’s telling me “WOMAN!!! YOU ARE FLIPPIN INSANE!!! RUN!! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!” but here I sit.
I cannot lie. I am semi-excited. WHY!? I have no freakin’ clue! I just am. I remember how much my son loved having the little one I used to take care of to play with. He was able to tell you that it was time for the little one to arrive…and he was right. He LOVED having a pal to chum around with…someone to boss around….someone to hug and do things with…someone who thought that poop and boogies were as cool as he did. I am excited to give that to him again…even though it will push me past the brink of insanity and I am sure that somewhere, a little southern paper’s headline will read “Crazy lady, found naked, rolling in a mud puddle while reciting the ABC’s in her best Elmo voice”.